How to Ask Someone Out on Instagram: Turn DMs into Dates

By: Ellen Bartolino

Last Updated on June 6, 2023 by Ellen Bartolino

Table of Contents

How to Ask a Girl Out on Instagram: Secure a Date Without Being Creepy

Are you finding it challenging how to ask someone out on Instagram? You’re not alone. In the modern world of dating, Instagram has become a popular platform for sparking connections. However, it can be daunting to navigate this social media landscape, especially when trying to express your feelings to a crush.

The key to success lies in your approach. It’s essential to be confident and authentic. After all, people are drawn to genuine interactions. But how do you translate this into a successful Instagram interaction? Let’s dive into the details.

Initial Interaction

Following the Person and Engaging with Their Posts

So, you’ve got a crush on someone on Instagram. That’s exciting! The first step in this modern-day romance is to follow their Instagram account. But remember, this isn’t a one-and-done deal. You need to engage with their posts. Like their photos, leave thoughtful comments, and show genuine interest in their content.

This isn’t just about getting their attention; it’s about showing that you’re interested in them as a person. It’s about being respectful and not coming across as creepy. Remember, you’re trying to ask a girl out on Instagram, not scare her away!

Engaging in Conversation and Making Them Laugh

Now that you’ve established your presence on their profile, it’s time to start a conversation. This could be as simple as responding to a story they’ve posted or sending a message related to a recent post. The goal is to create a connection and make them laugh.

Humor is a great ice breaker and can help you stand out in their DMs. But remember, the key is to be authentic. Don’t force a joke if it doesn’t feel natural. And remember, it’s not just about making them laugh; it’s about showing that you’re genuinely interested in getting to know them.

Remember that time when I sent a funny meme to my crush? It was a simple, light-hearted joke related to a post they had recently shared. They responded with a laugh, and that was the start of our conversation. It’s these small, genuine interactions that can open the door to deeper connections.

So, don’t be afraid to show your personality and initiate a conversation. You never know where it might lead!

Direct Messaging (DMs)

Replying to Their Story and Posting Engaging Content

Now that you’ve started a conversation, it’s time to dive deeper. One of the best ways to do this is by replying to their story. This shows that you’re actively following their content and are interested in what they’re sharing. But don’t just send a generic response. Make it engaging. Ask a question, make a funny comment, or share a related experience.

But remember, it’s not just about what you say in the DMs. It’s also about what you post on your own profile. Make sure your content is interesting and reflects who you are. This will give them a better idea of your personality and interests.

Replying to Their Story and Posting Engaging Content

Using Playful and Flirty Language to Make the Conversation Interesting

Once you’ve established a conversation, it’s time to make it more interesting. This is where playful and flirty language comes into play. But remember, it’s important to keep it light and respectful. You don’t want to come off as too forward or creepy.

For example, instead of saying “I like your photo,” you could say something like, “That’s a great photo! It looks like you had a lot of fun. I’m a bit jealous!” This not only compliments them but also opens up the conversation for them to share more about their experience.

Discussing Common Interests and Creating a Visual Picture of the Date

As the conversation progresses, try to find common interests. This not only gives you more to talk about but also helps build a connection. Whether it’s a love for hiking, a shared favorite TV show, or a mutual love for cooking, finding common ground can make the conversation more engaging.

Once you’ve found some common interests, it’s time to create a visual picture of the date. This doesn’t mean you should ask them out right away. Instead, use these interests to paint a picture of what a date could look like. For instance, if you both love hiking, you could say something like, “I know this great hiking trail. It has the most amazing view at the top. I think you’d really enjoy it.”

Remember, the goal is to make them excited about the idea of going on a date with you. So, keep the conversation light, fun, and engaging. And most importantly, be yourself. After all, authenticity is the key to making a real connection.

Asking Them Out

Using a Challenging Invite Technique to Make the Date Seem Fun and Unique

Now comes the moment of truth: asking them out. But how do you do it in a way that’s both exciting and unique? One technique is to use a challenging invite. This involves suggesting a fun activity that you both enjoy and then playfully challenging them to join you.

For instance, if you both love trivia, you could say something like, “I bet you can’t beat me at trivia night at [local bar]. Are you up for the challenge?” This not only makes the date seem fun and unique, but it also adds a playful competitive element that can make the date more exciting.

Here’s a personal experience. I once used this technique with a girl I met on Instagram. We both loved cooking, so I challenged her to a cook-off. I said, “I make the best pasta in town. I bet you can’t beat that. How about a cook-off this weekend?” She loved the idea, and we ended up having a great time cooking and eating together.

Using a Challenging Invite Technique to Make the Date Seem Fun and Unique

Being Upfront About a Date but Avoiding Direct and Boring Invitations

While it’s important to be upfront about your intentions, you also want to avoid being too direct or boring. Instead of just asking, “Do you want to go on a date?” try to make the invitation more interesting and personalized.

For example, you could say something like, “I’ve been having a great time chatting with you, and I’d love to continue our conversation in person. How about we grab coffee at that new café downtown? They have the best lattes!” This not only shows that you’re interested in getting to know them better, but it also suggests a specific plan, which can make the invitation more appealing.

Suggesting a Fun Date Activity and Asking for Their Number

Once you’ve built a connection and had some engaging conversations, it’s time to take the next step: suggesting a fun date activity and asking for their number. This could be anything from going to a concert of a band you both like, to trying out a new hiking trail, or even visiting a food festival in town.

When you suggest the activity, make sure it’s something you both enjoy and that it’s a casual and relaxed environment. This will make the date more enjoyable and less stressful. Once you’ve suggested the activity, you can then ask for their number to coordinate the details.

According to the 2023 Instagram Trend Report, Instagram measured the topics, issues, and trends that matter most to Gen Z users across the platform, including dating. This shows that Instagram is not just a platform for sharing pictures and stories, but it’s also a significant platform for social interaction and dating.

Remember, the goal is to create a comfortable and enjoyable experience for both of you. So, be considerate, respectful, and most importantly, be yourself. After all, the best relationships are built on authenticity and mutual respect.

Dealing with Different Scenarios

If They Live Far Away or Don’t Follow Back

Let’s face it, not all scenarios are ideal. Sometimes, the person you’re interested in might live far away or they might not follow back on Instagram. But don’t let these scenarios discourage you.

If they live far away, you can still engage with them online and build a connection. You can comment on their posts, share their content, and show genuine interest in their life. If the connection is strong, distance becomes just a number.

And if they don’t follow back immediately, don’t fret. Remember, Instagram is a social platform, and people have different social media habits. They might not have seen your follow request, or they might not be active on Instagram. Be patient, and continue to engage with their content in a respectful and non-intrusive way.

Here’s a personal experience. I once liked a girl who lived in a different city and didn’t follow me back on Instagram. Instead of giving up, I continued to engage with her posts and show genuine interest in her content. Over time, she noticed my consistent presence and started responding to my comments. Eventually, she followed me back, and we started chatting regularly. Despite the distance, we managed to build a strong connection.

If They Don’t Respond to Your DMs

Another common scenario is when the person doesn’t respond to your DMs. This can be disheartening, but it’s important not to take it personally. They might be busy, or they might get a lot of messages and missed yours.

In such cases, avoid bombarding them with messages. Instead, continue to engage with their public posts and show your interest in a more subtle way. Over time, they might notice your consistent engagement and decide to respond to your messages.

Remember, patience and persistence are key when it comes to online dating. It’s all about building a connection and showing the person that you’re genuinely interested in getting to know them. So, keep your chin up, stay positive, and don’t let these scenarios discourage you from pursuing your Instagram crush.

If They Don't Respond to Your DMs

Dealing with Rejection

Understanding That Rejection Is Not Personal

One of the most important aspects of asking someone out, whether it’s on Instagram or in person, is understanding that rejection is not personal. It’s easy to take rejection to heart and let it affect your self-esteem, but it’s crucial to remember that everyone has their own preferences and circumstances that influence their decisions.

If someone doesn’t respond positively to your invitation, it doesn’t reflect on your worth or desirability. They might not be ready for a relationship, they might be dealing with personal issues, or they might simply not feel the same way. It’s important to respect their decision and not take it as a personal affront.

Keeping the Interaction Light-Hearted Even After Rejection

Another key point to remember is to keep the interaction light-hearted after rejection. It’s natural to feel disappointed or hurt, but try not to let these feelings sour your interaction with the person. Continue to engage with them in a friendly and respectful manner, and who knows, they might reconsider their decision in the future.

Here’s a statistic to keep in mind: According to key findings about online dating in the U.S., three-in-ten U.S. adults say they have ever used a dating site or app, including Instagram. Online dating is more common among younger adults than among older people. This shows that rejection is a common part of the online dating experience, and it’s possible to bounce back from it with a positive attitude.

Remember, rejection is not the end of the world. It’s just a part of the dating process. So, keep your chin up, stay positive, and don’t let rejection discourage you from pursuing your Instagram crush.

Dealing with Rejection


The Importance of Being Respectful and Authentic

In the world of Instagram dating, being respectful and authentic is paramount. It’s not just about getting a date, but about creating a genuine connection with someone. Remember, you’re interacting with a real person, not just a profile picture. Show genuine interest in their posts, respect their boundaries, and be yourself.

Making the Other Person Excited for the Date

Make the other person excited for the date. This doesn’t mean you have to plan an extravagant outing. Sometimes, a simple coffee date can be just as exciting if you’ve built up a good rapport and have plenty to talk about.

Understanding That Not All Interactions Will Lead to a Date

However, it’s crucial to understand that not all interactions will lead to a date. And that’s okay. Instagram is a platform full of diverse individuals, and not everyone will be a good match. Don’t be discouraged if things don’t work out. Instead, see it as an opportunity to learn and grow.

Case Study

Now, let’s consider a case study that provides valuable insights into Instagram dating. The 2023 Instagram Trend Report, produced alongside a sweeping study of Gen Z users across Instagram, measured the topics, issues, and trends that matter most to teens across the platform, including dating. This report is a testament to the evolving landscape of online dating and the role Instagram plays in it. It shows that Instagram isn’t just a platform for sharing photos; it’s also a platform for making connections, starting conversations, and yes, asking someone out.

In conclusion, asking someone out on Instagram can be a fun and exciting experience if done right. Be respectful, be authentic, make the other person excited for the date, and understand that not all interactions will lead to a date. With these tips in mind, you’re well on your way to navigating the Instagram dating scene. Happy Instagram dating!


Q: How do I ask a girl out on Instagram?

A: If you’re interested in asking a girl out on Instagram, here are a few tips to help you out:

Q: Is it acceptable to ask a girl out on Instagram?

A: If you know the girl in real life or are already connected on the platform, then it can be an acceptable way to ask her out. However, if you’ve never spoken before, then it may come off as creepy to just slide into her DMs asking her out.

Should I ask a girl out over text or Instagram?

Q: Should I ask a girl out over text or Instagram?

A: It ultimately depends on the girl’s preference. If you’ve been communicating with her over text already, then it may be more appropriate to ask her out that way. However, if you’ve only interacted on Instagram, then it may make more sense to ask her out through a direct message.

Q: What is the best way to approach a girl on Instagram?

A: Start by liking and commenting on her posts to get her attention. Once she notices you and you’ve established a conversation, casually mention that you’d like to take her out sometime and see if she’s interested.

Q: Is there a way to ask a girl out indirectly?

A: Yes, you can start by dropping hints and testing the waters to see if she’s interested. You can also ask her to hang out as friends first and then transition to a date if things go well.

Q: Is it possible to ask a girl out on Instagram without being creepy?

A: Yes, you can avoid being creepy by not coming on too strong and respecting her boundaries. Also, don’t just send a simple “hey” or use overly flirty language. Instead, try to start a real conversation with her and get to know her interests.

Q: What are some cute ways to ask a girl out on Instagram?

A: You can use emojis or make a creative post on your Instagram story that hints at wanting to take her out. You could also ask her to go on a fun adventure or try out a new restaurant together.

Q: Should I only ask a girl out on Instagram if we have mutual friends?

A: Having mutual friends can make it easier to connect with a girl on Instagram, but it’s not necessary. If you want to ask her out, go for it regardless of whether you have mutual connections.

Q: What is the best way to DM a girl on Instagram?

A: Start by introducing yourself and mentioning something you admire about her profile. Then, try to start a conversation with her and see if there’s mutual interest. Avoid being too needy or pushy.

Q: What are some tips for asking someone out on social media?

A: Be confident, be respectful, and make sure you have a good chance of success before making a move. It’s also important to be aware of how you come across and whether your intentions are genuine.

Author Bio

Ellen Bartolino

With a wealth of experience as an author and communication specialist, Ellen has honed her skills in the realm of Instagram. Her in-depth understanding of the platform allows her to create engaging and effective content that resonates with both businesses and individuals.

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